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    I went out walking early one day.
    My heart was not stolen away.
    I didn't meet a pair of dark eyes.
    My heart didn't fly to the skies.

    I stayed in bed the day after that.
    Life was bland as a newspaper hat.
    Nobody called me to talk on the phone.
    I ate all my chocolate candies alone.

    So I decided to call you on Valentine's.
    To talk of buttons or pickles or landmines.
    I've got a question I'd like you to answer:
    Will you not be my Valentine for now and next year?
    Personally I don't see the problem with eating chocolate alone.
    For, you see, there is an exponentially lower chance that someone will just happen to eat more than their fair share. And don't think I'm pointing fingers, this is just a rule of thumb, pointer finger, little finger, little TOE, and all the rest.
    Oh, the chocolate alone isn't wholly bad, but when there's enough I do like to share. And I'm kind of implying in the verses that I had to buy it myself; i.e., no one got me any.

    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2007 edited
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    :````(() )
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    Yeah, I know. Very sad.


    • CommentTimeApr 22nd 2007
    Aw I'm sorry.

    I'll fill you in on a little situation I'm going through, because i believe it will help me to tell you all about it, and also shed light on your own feelings.

    My girlfriend, just recently, broke up with me.

    She shared very intimate and extremely scary secrets with me, and was scared that I was getting ready to leave her (as a boyfriend and as an emotional support). It hurt because I had alot of different things set up to do for her.

    Before we were dating, we were close friends for about a week. During that week, she was in Mardi Gras in Louisana (sp?), and was supposed to get back the day before Valentines. I bought her chocolates, but I was scared that she didn't like me the way I believed she did, so I never gave them to her. They still sit in my room, and I have the strongest urge to throw them away, but I know what memories they hold, and I can't bring myself to do it.

    There was also a treatment my therapist suggested I should do.

    I was to buy about 3-4 Carnations and give them to people who look upset, not because they are 'hot', or because they are 'popular', no biased idea like that. Just because they look upset.

    So, every week on sunday night, I go out and get flowers. I write a message on the computer, print out strips of paper and tape them to the stems, and give them to people. Usually just little inspirational things, stuff to make you feel good.

    Well, every week, I buy all the same colored flowers, except one. That single carnation, every week, I hold onto until the end of the day, it has no message, nothing, and I see if I can bring myself to give it to my Ex. I have never been able to. I end up throwing the last one away.

    So trust me, sometimes people would love to do things for you, but they are so fearful of what could happen, the consequences. I'm sorry you have had that experience, but most of the time it's not that you are ALONE, it's because someone else who is ALONE can't bring themself to be ALONE with YOU. Fear is the strongest barrier to love.

    That's quite observant, CJ. The poem was written in a rather sarcastic tone, because although I have felt quite devastatingly alone in the past, I find that I no longer feel so strongly about it. Perhaps I've gotten used to it, perhaps I've merely matured.

    The double edge to that sword, however, is that now I think I tend to come across as very confident, and I hardly ever admit to anyone, even myself, when I like someone a lot. Mebbe I'm scaring them all away.

    Ah, 'tis a sad life we lead at times ...


    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2007 edited
    'tis only sad if you can't find satisfaction in the little things.

    I've learned to only bring someone into your life and let them in your heart when you can find happiness easily in your life.

    I have now taught myself to never try and use them as a tool to happiness.

    P.S.-I like sarcasm =-)))))


    P.S.S.- Would it be inappropriate to post a few of my journal entries? They do have profanity, but I would be happy to edit that out and post it. Would that be alright Anemone?
    It's up to you, I'll let you know if I find them inappropriate for public viewing on this forum.

    I shouldn't think you'd want to spill all your deepest secrets to a horde of nameless strangers on the internet. And I'm not promising to read and comment on every single one. ~_^

    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2007
    They aren't my deepest darkest secrets, mainly just anger and frustration. =-)