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      CommentAuthorTrenchcoat
    • CommentTimeMar 10th 2007
     
    SpareChange, you have all the material for this story. We should post it.
  1.  
    Can do.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSpareChange
    • CommentTimeApr 26th 2007 edited
     
    ISOLATION

    ONCE UPON A TIME (A VERY ORIGINAL BEGINNING DON'T YOU THINK) IN THE YEAR OF OUR TRAVELS, BETWEEN THE TIME OF MY BIRTH AND THE TIME OF MY DEATH, WHICH HAS NOT YET BEEN DETERMINED, I, THE SCRIBE OF THE RABBIT TAMERS, WAS READING THROUGH THE TREASURED BOOK. NO OTHER TRIBE OF MEN THAT WE KNOW OF POSSESSES SUCH A BOOK SUCH AS IT, SINCE WE KNOW OF NO OTHER TRIBES. I CAME UPON A SECTION I HAD NOT SEEN BEFORE, THE PAGES OF THE TREASURED BOOK TENDING TO STICK TOGETHER. IT WAS ABOUT RABBITS AND HARES, HAIRS HAD BEEN SPELLED SOMEWHAT INCORRECTLY IN THE TREASURED BOOK, BUT I HAD NO DESIRE TO CORRECT IT. IT RAN THUS:

    THE HARE'S CHALLENGE
    I CHALLENGE YOU NOW, SAID THE HARE TO HIS COUSIN
    THE FIELD'S FLOWERS WERE BLOOMING AND THE BEES WERE A'BUZZIN
    RIGHT THERE IN THE CENTER WE'LL BOTH DIG A HOLE.
    I'LL BET I CAN DIG MUCH MORE LIKE A MOLE.





    IT' TRUE, SAID THE RABBIT, I' SURE THAT YOU CAN.
    AND OUT TO THE CENTER THEY BOTH QUICKLY RAN.
    THE HARE WOULD HAVE WON EXCEPT FOR THE BEES.
    HE MADE A MISTAKE AND STARTED TO SNEEZE.
    THE BEES MADE HIM GO LIKE A SHOT FROM A GUN
    AND THE RABBIT HYSTERICALLY CRIED RUN, HURRY, RUN!

    SUDDENLY THEN HIS LAUGHING WAS DONE
    A DIFFERENT LOCATION WAS CHOSEN FOR FUN
    THE BEES MADE IT CLEAR IT WAS THEY WHO HAD WON

    HERE IS ANOTHER SECTION WHICH SEEMED ODD AS WELL, BUT AS I DO NOT WANT THE RECORD TO APPEAR LACKING I HAVE RECORDED IT ALSO.

    THE RABBIT' ISSUE
    THE RABBIT SAID TO THE HARE
    I CAN JUMP HIGHER IN THE AIR
    AYE SAID THE HARE, DO I CARE?
    MY EARS ARE MY STRONG POINT
    SO MAJESTIC AND TALL
    THE JUMPING HAS RUINED YOURS
    THEY FLOP AND THEY FALL
    SAID RABBIT,
    MY EARS MAY NOT BE MY BEST TISSUE,
    BUT YOU'E MY COUSIN
    SO WE'L CLOSE THE ISSUE

    WE BOTH GO ON ALL FOURS
    SOMETIMES SLOW, SOMETIMES QUICK
    WE'E IN ALL KINDS OF LORE
    AND THAT ENDS THIS LIMERICK.

    HAVING BEEN READING THROUGH THE TREASURED BOOK AFRESH I WAS POSSESSED WITH A DESIRE TO SEE THE ANIMALS DISCUSSED SO OFTEN IN THE BOOK, FROM THE SMALL, SMALL BEETLES, TO THE LARGEST, THE RABBIT. BECAUSE OF THIS DESIRE TO SEE THE ANIMALS FACE TO FACE I APPROACHED THE VILLAGE LEADER.
  2.  
    First section up. :D This one should go up fairly fast, since it is on the complete side, though Trenchcoat may wish to add after I finish posting the available material.

    ~Anyone need a dime?
    •  
      CommentAuthorSpareChange
    • CommentTimeApr 29th 2007 edited
     
    HAVE OUR YOUNG PEOPLE SEEN ANY WILDLIFE BESIDES LIZARDS AND CROWS? HAVE YOU YOURSELF HAD ANY MORE EXPERIENCE THAN THEY? I PLEADED ELOQUENTLY, BUT I STRUCK A SNAG, TWO IN FACT.
    OF COURSE I HAVE HAD MORE EXPERIENCE THAN THE CHILDREN! EXPLODED THE CHIEF, RATHER RED IN THE FACE. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN MY IMPORTANCE?
    AT THIS POINT I MUST CONFESS I HAD FORGOTTEN THE CHIEF'S TOUCHINESS ABOUT HIS POSITION, MY FIRST SNAG. THE CHIEF THEN INFORMED ME OF THE SECOND MISTAKE IN MY APPROACH.
    IF WE HAVE HAD NO EXPERIENCE WITH SOMETHING WHY CHANCE GETTING HURT!?
    HOWEVER, WITH SOME SMOOTH TALKING I EVENTUALLY CONVINCED HIM OF THE ADVANTAGES THAT WOULD BE OURS IF WE EXPLORED NEW TERRITORIES. FIRST I SAID THE PEOPLE IN FUTURE GENERATIONS WOULD RESPECT HIS KNOWLEDGE, AND SECONDLY THAT OUR CURRENT WATER SUPPLY WAS RUNNING LOW. I DO BELIEVE THAT THE FORMER POINT INFLUENCED HIM IN HIS DECISION MORE THAN THE LATTER.
    WE MOVED OUT AT DAYBREAK HEADING SOMEWAY. FOR THREE DAYS WE HAD NO WATER EXCEPT THE LAST OF OUR SUPPLY. THEN, WE CAME UPON A GREAT RIVER,(I HAD PREVIOUSLY READ OF SUCH IN THE TREASURED BOOK)AT LEAST TWO FEET WIDE! IT WAS ACTUALLY SIX INCHES DEEP! IT RUSHED BY FASTER THAN THE FASTEST LIZARDS COULD RUN. (LEGENDS LATER INCREASED THE SIZE OF LIZARD RIVER, AS IT CAME TO BE CALLED, UNTIL IT WAS 20 FEET IN WIDTH AND 72 INCHES IN DEPTH. I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO MAKE IT CLEAR IN ALL MY RECITALS OF OUR HISTORY THAT ITS EXPANSE WASN'T NEARLY SO PREPOSTEROUS). THE CHIEF WAS ALL FOR STOPPING AT THIS POINT, AND AS I ENDEAVORED TO PERSUADE HIM TO CONTINUE I DISCOVERED THAT HE DIDN'T WISH TO RISK CROSSING SUCH A MAJOR BOUNDARY. HIS BIGGEST PROBLEM WAS THE FACT THAT NONE OF OUR TRIBE HAD EVER SEEN RUNNING WATER BEFORE. ALL OF OUR PREVIOUS WATER SOURCES HAD BEEN WIDE AND SHALLOW RAIN PUDDLES SELDOM EXCEEDING FOUR INCHES IN DEPTH. I TOLD HIM THAT I HAD TESTED THIS WATER AND IT DIDN'T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO CARRY HIM OFF. HE THEN ORDERED TWO OF HIS STRONG MEN TO STAND IN THE RIVER ON EITHER SIDE TO ASSIST HIM. AFTER THE FIRST CROSSING HE GOT OVER HIS TIMIDITY AND PROCEEDED TO SPLASH BACK AND FORTH WITH GREAT ALACRITY. I WAS STANDING BY, WATCHING THE TRIBE'S CROSSING PROGRESS, WHEN A YOUNG BOY YELLED.
  3.  
    *oh no*

    A boy is yelling!

    What could possibly happen next! :-O

    Anemone
  4.  
    " I SEE SOMETHING!" IT WAS LIZARD SPOT SON OF LIZARD STRIPE WHO HAD YELLED. I QUICKLY TURNED TO SEE WHAT HE WAS LOOKING AT. NO MORE THAN TWENTY-FIVE FEET AWAY WAS ONE OF THE BEETLES THAT THE TREASURED BOOK HAD MENTIONED! IT WAS ABOUT HALF A FOOT TALL AND A FOOT LONG. I WAS HOWEVER CONFUSED. THIS BEETLE ONLY HAD FOUR LEGS, WHILE THE BOOK SPECIFICALLY SPOKE OF SIX. I DECIDED THAT IT MUST BE A DIFFERENT SPECIES. STILL THE BEETLE SEEMED RATHER LARGE. THE TREASURED BOOK HAD DISTINCTLY SAID, AND I QUOTE:
    " A BEETLE IS SMALL
    NO MORE THAN TWO INCHES TALL"
    END QUOTE. THIS DID NOT DETER ME THOUGH. I ANNOUNCED TO THE CHIEF THAT WE HAD FOUND OUR FIRST SPECIMEN OF FOREIGN WILDLIFE. HE DID NOT APPEAR VERY INTRIGUED BY THIS FACT. THIS WAS, I SUPPOSE, BECAUSE OF THE DISCOVERY OF THE RIVER.
    WE MADE CAMP FOR THE NIGHT, THE CHIEF NOT BEING ABLE TO TEAR HIMSELF AWAY, AND I PROCEEDED TO RECORD THE DAYS HAPPENINGS. WHILE I WASIN THE PROCESS OF DOING SO I WAS INFROMED THAT ONE OF THE BEETLES HAD BEEN CAUGHT AND TURNED INTO SOUP. IT SOUNDED DISTASTEFUL TO EAT ALL THE FUR THAT HAD BEEN ON THE BEETLE, BUT THE DISH SURPRISED ME. SOMEONE HAD JUDICIOUSLY REMOVED ALL OUTER FUR AND WHAT WAS LEFT TASTED BETTER THAN ANY LIZARD I HAD EVER EATEN. WHILE I WAS SAVORING THE STEW THE CHIEF CAME IN TO APOLOGIZE FOR NOT HAVING BEEN MORE CONGRATULATORY ABOUT OUR FIRST WILDLIFE VIEWING. BY THE TIME HE WAS FINISHED WITH HIS LONG-WINDED APOLOGY I WAS QUITE HAPPY TO LET HIM OFF EASY. I SIMPLY REMARKED THAT IN THE FUTURE HE WOULD BE WISE TO HEED MY ADVICE.
  5.  
    Well, it's about time something else happened! They've been wandering around in the desert with small boys yelling for quite some time.

    Mmm, beetle stew. Sounds luscious. ;-)

    Anemone
    •  
      CommentAuthorTrenchcoat
    • CommentTimeSep 26th 2007
     
    Well, sort of Children of Israel, nu?
  6.  
    'zactly my impression.

    :-)

    Anemone
  7.  
    Aha! WE SEEMED TO HAVE GARNERED YOUR ATTENTION. Ok, enough with the caps, simply having the story in them sometimes gives me a headache. Anyhow, I'd be delighted to provide ya'll with s'more inurestin readings shortly. Oh, and Anemone, you should 'pursuade' more of your acquaintances to become active on this site.
  8.  
    I try, I honestly do. They just aren't as prolific as you and Trenchy, apparently. Don't tell Trenchcoat I used that nickname ...

    Anemone
    •  
      CommentAuthorTrenchcoat
    • CommentTimeOct 7th 2007
     
    You shouldn't say it where I can hear you...
  9.  
    **eek**
    •  
      CommentAuthorSpareChange
    • CommentTimeNov 7th 2007 edited
     
    THE NEXT MORNING I SUGGESTED, NO, ADVISED THE CHIEF THAT WE SHOULD MOVE ON. AT FIRST HE WAS RATHER RELUCTANT, BUT I TOLD HIM WE COULD FOLLOW THE STREAM. AFTER THAT HE STILL NEEDED SOME PERSUASION SO I REMINDED HIM OF HIS APOLOGY AND WE PACKED UP. WE TRAMPED ON FOR THREE DAYS.
    THERE WERE OCCASIONAL SIGHTINGS OF BEETLES AND A FEW MORE WERE MADE INTO SOUP. THEN, ON THE MORNING OF THE THIRD DAY WE SAW GREEN ON THE HORIZON, GREEN COVERED THE WHOLE LAND IN FRONT OF US! AT FIRST THE TRIBE WAS READY TO TAKE TO IT’S HEELS, THINKING THAT IT WAS SOME GIANT CREATURE THAT WOULD EAT US UP WHOLE. THE CHIEF WAS FEELING BOLD HOWEVER, AND HE DECIDED TO SEND OUT A BAND OF SPIES. I WAS UNWORRIED. SURELY HE WOULD NOT SEND OUT THE ONE AND ONLY SCRIBE OF THE TRIBE. HE CALLED MY NAME FIRST. I WAS TO GO ALONG AND IDENTIFY THESE STRANGE CREATURES(BY NOW WE COULD SEE IT WAS NOT ONE, BUT MANY.) IF I DID NOT TAKE CARE THAT I WAS NOT EATEN HE WOULD PERSONALLY CHOP MY HEAD OFF. I DIDN’T THINK HIS LOGIC WAS SOUND, BUT DID NOT ATTEMPT TO PERSUADE HIM TO LET ME STAY. HE HAD LOOKED QUITE GLEEFUL DURING THIS ANNOUNCEMENT, THE ONLY ONE IN FACT WHO DID NOT WAS THE YOUNG BOY WHO HAD SIGHTED THE BEETLE. HE HAD BEEN POLITELY INFORMED BY HIS FATHER THAT SPYING WAS NOT CHILD’S PLAY.
    THE CHIEF CHOOSING ME FIRST I DID NOT UNDERSTAND IN THE LEAST. WAS I NOT THE MOST VALUABLE MAN IN THE TRIBE? I STOOD NUMB WHILE THE CHIEF SELECTED THE REST OF THE WAR PARTY. I, THE GREATEST MAN OF THE TRIBE, WAS RISKING MY HEAD IN A CHILD’S (IN MY OPINION) SPYING GAME... .
    ********************************************
    I TRAMPED ON AND FELT ANOTHER BRANCH LASH MY FACE AS LIZARD STRIPE, THE SPY IN FRONT OF ME, FORGOT TO HOLD THE BRANCH, AGAIN! I HAD STARTED IN THE FRONT, BUT I POLITELY HELD THE FIRST BRANCH FOR EVERYONE AND THEY HAD LEFT ME STRANDED AT THE BACK OF THE PROCESSION. AS SOON AS WE HAD REACHED THE FIRST “GIANT LIZARD” I HAD PUT THEIR CHILDISH FEARS TO REST BY REACHING FORWARD AND TOUCHING IT. I, OF COURSE, HAD RECOGNIZED IT AS A TREE FROM A SKETCH IN THE TREASURED BOOK. NOW WE WERE TRAMPING THROUGH IT AND I KNEW I WOULD GET NO SLEEP THAT NIGHT, BEING AFFLICTED WITH WEAK BONES THAT DID NOT ALLOW ME TO MARCH FOR LONG IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS. LIZARD STRIPE ONLY GRINNED WHEN I BEGAN TO STUMBLE AND DID NOT EVEN OFFER TO TAKE ME ON HIS BROAD SHOULDERS. I WAS SUFFERING FROM GREAT PAIN, I WAS NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO GO ON, I NEEDED A REST, I WAS A DELICATE MAN, I WAS NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO KEEP THIS PACE, BUT DID THEY STOP, DID THEY OFFER TO CARRY ME, DID THEY TRY TO BE SYMPATHETIC OR UNDERSTANDING? NO, OF COURSE NOT! I MARCHED ALONG IN THE BACK AND, AS THE BRANCHES CONTINUED TO WHIP MY FACE, KEPT UP MY STRENGTH BY GLARING AT LIZARD STRIPE’S USELESS BACK!
  10.  
    """"Warning"""" Read in small portions in a brightly lit room with other people present to prevent trauma!

    :D
  11.  
    *traumatized*

    Aggaggahhga. Irekeesuggkhgha.

    Anememoeoneeggahara ...

    PgghhSss: Seriously, shouldn't warning labels be put BEFORE the text they're warning about? I had to resort to violence to keep my sanity. Violence against the English language, no less!
    •  
      CommentAuthorTrenchcoat
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2007
     
    Sucess! Now, we broadcast this worldwide in such a way that people cannot avoid reading it and while all brains are temporarily turned to jelly by trauma, I shall take over the rule of the Galactic Empire!
  12.  
    ...

    Instead of having my brain turned to mush, can I be your secretary? Please?

    Anemone
  13.  
    o,O this puts the whole thing in a new light. Fearless leader, you neglected to mention that you were putting phase 1 into action though :( I'm hurt :(***
  14.  
    Aww. I suppose he's your main enforcer? Or do you do all the enforcing personally? If you want something done right ...

    Anemone
  15.  
    Can I have my brain unmushified too?!