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    Captain Driex Kueve of the Ubri-class space vessel Pasfayr, paced the length of the bridge of his ship. There was an almost tangible aura of ecstasy surrounding him which at any given moment seemed to extend to include those nearest him. His second in command glanced up at him and grinned, she knew the reason for his current state of bliss. In fact the whole crew of 40 beings had reason to be happy. The Pasfayr was on its way home. After having been gone from their families and loved ones for over 5 constants, they had finally reached the time for their rest period.

    Yefrah Syave held the rank of Kolonel, second in command after the Captain, or as she liked to phrase it, “The one with the power, if the Captain should happen to be incapacitated”. In her mind that gave her the option of incapacitating the Captain herself and knowing that she could take over for him, letting him enjoy an early, but well deserved rest. Not that she would even think of hurting the Captain, but the more options the better she always said. After a few moments more of the pacing going on behind her back, she began to drop some subtle hints, which he was completely oblivious to, that he should stop. Yefrah decided to adopt a not so subtle approach. With an exasperated sigh she pushed her seat back from her communications consol and lounged over the side facing the general location of the Captain. A few lustrous, light orange bangs having escaped from the confines of her headset settled down over her left eye.

    “With all due respect Captain, your antics are a bit distracting, not to mention a bit thought provoking.” She said in the lilting accent of a true Uzefonian. Then in a playfully accusatory tone, “You never get this agitated when we are on missions.”
    Captain Driex raised one dark orange eyebrow and tried, though not very hard, to keep a grin from appearing on his own face. He failed miserably. He saw the sparkle in her orange, blue flecked eyes and knew that she was teasing him. She did have a point however.

    “You are thinking” he said in a rich baritone that carried the same lilt as the voice of his first officer, “that the rest of the crew might begin to think of me as a being other than simply their Captain and leader. That they might begin to think that I have personal feelings of my own, that I am in fact…” he paused for effect “a regular sentient being?”

    She played along with him saying in a stage whisper, “Horrors!” Glancing around the entirety of the plain, but spacious bridge, “We wouldn’t want them to think THAT now would we! Rolling her eyes she continued, “Joking aside, you do have a certain image that you have worked to portray. Try to not let all that hard work go to waste.”

    He sighed. “You are probably right as usual.” Then he winked one of his own blue, orange flecked eyes at her. “I’ll try to keep myself in line”.

    Her mind was subconsciously waiting to hear sounds of the continuing footfalls, or more accurately, foot stomps slapping against the plexi-planking that would indicate Driex’s attempt at self control, but she relaxed when she realized that she did not hear any such thing. Having replaced the wayward strands of hair, she repositioned the headset so that the supporting mesh conformed lightly and comfortably to the shape of her head. She was once more studying the images on her visor array, when her hearing registered a persistent buzzing sound behind her. She finally whirled her seat around, ready to dish out a snappy rebuke. She faltered at what she saw, puzzled for a moment. Then it dawned on her that Captain Driex Kueve, shaking in nervous anticipation of his homecoming, was holding onto the railing behind her so tightly that he was actually lifting all 200kg of his well muscled, purple frame slightly off the ground with each shake, causing his feet to vibrate against the deck. That vibration was causing the buzzing sound that was driving her crazy. With a rueful smile she placed the headset back on and tried, unsuccessfully at first, to block it out. After all, she knew better than most why he was so ecstatic.
    Thankful People: Trenchcoat
    • CommentTimeNov 8th 2008
    Very glad you've started your own story, DJ. And since you are unstoppable, I assume that it will be continuing regularly. Most excellent.
    You can go right ahead and assume, but that doesn't mean that your assumptions will be correct.
    I made some alterations to the story since you read it last, so you may want to read it again.
    I'm enjoying it so far! Keep it up DJ :D

    Yay for another story!!  I shall be following eagerly.

    O.o more aliens :D They always make for good subjects.

    It's 'cause we know so much about them, and they're easy to understand.

    Since his recent promotion from Crimson class captain to captain of the Ivory class, Captain Driex had been given the privilege of hand picking his troops for missions. Troops under the authority of an Ivory class leader ended up with much less leave time, and for this reason Driex opted to draft the majority of his crew from his home world. There were always the exceptions, for example old Otug, the Weapons Chief, was not from Gweh. Nor was Tark for that matter. The captain shuddered inwardly at the thought that creatures like Tark could have come from anywhere near his home planet. This was no slight on Tark himself, for under no pretense could his disposition be termed anything approaching friendly, but he was a good being to have with you in a fight. Tark was the undisputed expert on combat, both in close quarters and at distance, on the Pasfayr. For that reason he held the title of Chief Warrior.

    Captain Kueve’s brain instantly registered the sound of someone trying to reach him on his personal headset. His chief officers were the only beings with direct access to the captain’s headset, all other communication was routed through Kolonel Syave and her team of intelligence beings. He expertly made a miniscule movement using his chin muscles, activating the receiver on his end while noting on the visor display the blinking icon that indicated that the call had originated from Otug on the weapons deck.

    “Is there a problem Otug?” he asked patiently.

    The cracked voice of the weapons chief came crisp and clear over the headset aimed directly into the Captain’s ears.

    “You could sure say so, couldn’t yah!?” he exclaimed in a series of whistles and mumbles that the Captain didn’t think he would ever be able to get used to. “These h’re beings ‘re behavin’ like girls just come oot ov’ class, so they ‘re!”
    Driex heard Otug yell away from the mike at the crew members nearest him, “SHUSH ye’selvs fur murcy’s sake shush!”

    The Captain sighed. “Is there a mutinous situation developing Otug?”

    “Well sur I-“

    “Is the crew still following orders?”

    “No sur! They’s not shutt’n up!”

    “Are they all doing their assigned tasks Otug?”

    There was silence at the other end. Then a reluctant, “yes Cap’m…fur the most part, I surppose soh.” Then in a mournful tone he said. “But can’t you do an’thin’?”
    Captain Kueve sighed inwardly but said, “Alright Otug, I’ll see what I can do.”
    And that was it. Nothing more came through the receivers in the Captain’s headset and the icon that had become solid as soon as the Captain had accepted the call, was gone as though it had never been. The weapons chief was notoriously bad at expressing gratitude.

    Captain Kueve turned to his ever attentive Kolonel and said “Otug” as if that explained everything.

    The Kolonel nodded sagely and suppressed a mischievous grin. “Poor Otug. Those young troops he’s got down there with him must be just overflowing with impatience to get home after so long.”

    “We are all more than ready to be home.” Said the Captain. “Besides you should know as well as I that at a time like this handling the crew is a very delicate procedure if you want them to continue to like you. Although, I suppose I could say something to alleviate the tension and make it more bearable for old Otug.”

    Captain Kueve cleared his throught and searched for the words that would create the effect he desired. Kolonel Syave saw an impish grin take over one corner of his mouth and wondered what cruel fate the Captain had set in store for Otug.

    Captain Kueve set his headset to announce to each crewmember’s individual headset and said, “Attention, this is Captain Kueve speaking. First off I have a news flash to share. WE HAVE COMENCED OUR DECENT TO PLANET GWEH!!!” he bellowed into the smooth, metallic mouth piece.

    The Kolonel could almost hear Otug’s groan it was so clear in her mind. The entire vessel erupted in loud cheering noises. She had to struggle to keep her own emotions in check, so impelling was the commanding voice of their captain. Instead of cheering with the rest of the crew, she giggled softly to herself.

    The captain continued after a slight pause. “That said, I strongly recommend you all to keep your excitement in check until after checking off of this vessel. I will tolerate no neglecting of duties or frivolous behavior on board this vessel now or ever. I want our vessel to be spotless and well ordered, the pride of the fleet.” A pause, then, “We will not make a sloppy entrance, neither in physical appearance nor inferior handling, while I am still captain of this vessel.”

    The crew gave one last unified shout and then the cheering subsided and they started busying themselves again with the cleaning up of the vessel.

    The grin crept back onto the Captain’s face and once again he raised his voice and shouted “IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?”
    A resounding “YES SIR!” filled the vessel from end to end.
    “Then that is all.” said the captain taking care to moderate the amplitude of his voice.

    The Kolonel was certain that the normally dispassionate Otug was loudly bemoaning his fate once again.
    Thankful People: Juggernaut's Dream, Curly Que

    I am rather impressed by Tark,  and he scares me..

    That's pretty much what I was going for. ;)
    Tark rocks. Can I pet him??

    .. I think the blue lips, (that match the blue uniform) , and the mane, have kind of put me on edge, HOW come you want to PET him?


    ~wide eyed Bree

    somehow I don't think he'd appreciate being petted very much. Now stroking, on the other hand, might be a different matter altogether.

    *thinking Anemone*

    Well, maybe that would work.


    come on now! come on.. you can do it.. *is talking like she does to her cat* 



    Hopefull, impatient, encouraging,


    D.J. is a cat? O.o

    well i have been led to believe...

    I think I need to redo the first part in order to make this work right, so bear with me and read through the beginning again in a bit if you would. I will try to work on it soon.

    yay! I will try to wait patiently

    Thankful People: Juggernaut's Dream
    I have edited the two beginning posts, so in order to be understanding later posts I suggest that you read those two again.
    Thankful People: Juggernaut's Dream

    Three cheers! you are continuing at long last!


    Solar System sized problems ... hmm.  I can't wait to find out what those might be!!

    The newly appointed first mate of the U-class space vessel Nrivhan, was nicknamed “Punctual Pawn” because he was rarely late and had the bad fortune to be named Paughnel at the same time. His full name was Frederick von Paughnel. He was second in command only to the captain and enjoyed the feeling of authority and of power, but at the same time he felt more than a little anxious about having to make important decisions. He knew that he had to get over that feeling if he ever wanted to advance in the ranks, but right now he was happy to just stand out of the way and keep watch as his captain and navigator talked to the docking tower and tried to gain permission to dock. Frederick was overseeing some of the crew as they fussed over a broken down torching tool. Dressed in the standard close fitting long sleeve shirt and pants of the Yaglu space military, he leaned against a handy wall and watched as one of the crew banged away on the outside of the abused piece of machinery while the other tried to untangle a mess of wires on the inside. At least, the clothes would have been close fitting if he had been the size of most Yaglu. The typical Yaglu was a short thick being about 50 centimeters tall, with arms and legs like tree trunks and very red skin. Their 17 odd fingers were long and spindly and ended in rather intimidating points. All Yaglu possessed smooth hairless faces and protruding foreheads with long black hair hanging down the back almost to the floor.

    Frederick had same long fingers, red skin and hair or lack thereof, but that is where the similarities ended. He was taller than most and much thinner. That made it so that the outfit that was supposed to be close fitting, was on him, baggy and short. His forehead was less pronounced than most and his chin seemed to be elongated as if to make up for the lack of forehead. His former custom made uniform was the uniform of his former status and was not the proper attire of his new rank. As such, he had to make do with the extra clothes of the last first mate, who had been a little short and stocky even by Yaglu standards.

    Unfortunately he had still to find any base that had attire that would fit his tall thin frame, so he had to procure a custom made uniform again. That was easier said than done. Space vessels were constantly on the move and most of the destinations were not known enough ahead of time for Frederick to find someone at said destination that would make him his uniform. Even if he did somehow find someone, often the vessel left dock with him on it, before he was able to pick up his newly made uniform and he had to leave it behind after having paid in advance for it. They weren’t cheap either! Since his physical proportions were unusual, to say the least, he was picked on quite a bit, therefore he did not like to make a big deal about it.

    The main reason that he had advanced so far into the ranks was that he was fast. Fast at everything. He could make it to his appointments in plenty of time, plus, even though he was anxious about making decisions, he could think about all of the possible outcomes very quickly. This gave him the advantage of being able to know which decisions to make most of the time, even if he didn’t want to make them.

    Frederick was startled out of his reverie by a small explosion from the inside of the torch after a particularly vigorous knock from the Yaglu on the outside. The unfortunate Yaglu on the inside screamed and emerged with his hair on fire. Rather than do the sensible thing and put the fire out, he immediately threw himself at his fellow crew member. Frederick muttered something to the effect of "here we go again" and decided that he'd better do something to keep them from seriously maiming each other if not worse. He stepped up as near to the flaming Yaglu as he dared, the attacker has already set his opponent ablaze as well. In accordance with standard protocol, he always tried yelling first to try to get the combatants attention, but that never worked. Upon seeing that his voice had absolutely no effect on the situation he, very deliberately, drew his standard issue saber from the scabbard at his waist and used the flat of the blade to whack the fingers of the combating Yaglu. They immediately separated, wringing their fingers in pain, all the while glaring hatefully at each other. At that moment the captain’s voice cut through the air over the vessel’s voice amplification system.

    “All crew members report to your stations for docking. Punctu… umhur… First Mate Pangel please report to the navigating station.”

    Frederick backed away from the two, still smoldering, crew members and sheathing his blade, gulped nervously as he made his way over to the captain and the navigator at the navigating station. His name was mispronounced all the time so he hardly noticed it. He barely even noticed the captain’s slip of the tongue when he almost called him by his nickname. However, he really did not want to be in charge of docking. It wasn’t that it was especially hard, it was just so unpredictable. He hated unpredictability, and was especially anxious when he had to deal it. It seemed that his new captain had noticed this and had made it his personal responsibility to make the “Punctual Pawn” overcome this anxiousness even if it killed him.

    After successfully completing the docking procedure with a minimum number of mistakes, Frederick let out the deep breath that he had been holding and went about gathering the belongings that he planned on taking down to the base with him. As he stooped down to grab a hold of the handles of his bag, a voice over the loudspeakers arrested his attention. He was being summoned to the captain’s quarters. Frederick von Paughnel sweated and twirled his long fingers nervously as he waited for the captain to admit him. Had he done something wrong? Was he going to be punished? If so, would it involve him not getting as much leave time? He certainly hoped not. Getting down to the surface of a planet was refreshing as it was virtually the only time during which he could forget about everyone else and be alone for a while. He realized that he had been holding his breath and let it out in a whoosh, only to catch it again when the door finally slid open. He hesitantly stepped through the doorway into the captain’s plush living quarters and awaited whatever dreadful fate the captain had decided to lay upon his thin shoulders.
    Thankful People: Juggernaut's Dream
    The Nrivhan sat quietly in the docking bay of one of the many Yaglu home planets awaiting further orders. She was due to remain there for quite some time just then, because the Yaglu captain had some friends in high enough places that he could get away with a bit of extra “resting time” between voyages. Everyone on the vessel knew that his so called “resting time” would be more accurately termed “party time”, but no one complained. This was mostly, because they had extra time to fritter away the wages earned during the most recent voyage.

    On board the Nrivhan a skeleton crew stayed on duty to keep the ship ready in case an unexpected order came. The skeleton crew changed every four days to allow all of the crew members’ time on the surface of the planet. The crew knew from experience that they didn’t really need to do much to make it look like the vessel was ready to leave at a moment’s notice and there was really no point in doing more, as the captain was never sent away before his “rest period” was over. The result of Frederick's visit to the captain’s quarters the other night had turned out to be a very detailed summary of his duties as the highest ranking officer on board. He listened carefully filing away all of the information in his head for later reference.

    Later, on the second day of Frederick's command as leader of the skeleton crew, the first mate completed all of his immediate duties and then tried to get the rest of the crew to actually do their jobs. He was amazed at their complete lack of respect for him. The Captain would hear of this when he got back. Frederick found that no one really took him seriously when the captain wasn’t around to back him up. Even on the one instance when he had threatened some crew members with his saber the most he got in return were some black looks. Some of them at least put on a show of obeying, but as a group the crew still on board lounged around mostly, often instead of working, they played a raucous game involving tiles commonly called hoesu. Frederick von Paughnel tried to be stern, but his resolve weakened very quickly once he saw how little the crew minded him. Though he did continue on with his own duties the best he was able, his admonitions and entreaties came less and less often, until all he did was wander around morosely, checking on different groups of crew members.

    He was drawn to a group just beginning a round of hoesu. Hoesu was a game that involved little skill. Mostly it required brute strength, quick reflexes and a whole lot of luck. It started when all the participants were each given 10 weighted tiles, one for each of the fingers on one hand of a Yaglu. Each tile had a symbol on it that represented an object. Each tile also had a hole through the center of it for the fingers of the hand to poke through. On a typical Yaglu a good set of tiles slid down to a little over half way down the fingers. The sets that were most common, being the cheapest, had more variation in the size of the holes. After each player had placed the tiles over his or her fingers, a round of betting commenced. The players bet on being the first being to get the tiles off their fingers and onto the base pile. The betting stage could get rather violent and that was even before the real fun began. The final stage before it got out of control was when a dice was passed around and rolled until two players were deemed to have rolled the lowest number more than anyone else. Those two then commenced a wrestling match, the victor deciding whether to be the starter or the judge. The starter was the one who placed the first tile called the base tile, that all the rest of the players could then play on. It was not simply speed that counted though there were rules, of a sort.

    Rule #1. A player may not lay down a tile without that tile corresponding in some way to the tile before it. If this is done then the player must pick it back up and draw another tile.

    Rule #2. A player may not intentionally, severely maim any other player during the play of the tiles. If this is done then the player charged with the offense must draw an additional two tiles.

    Rule#3. A player may not ever have more than ten tiles in his/her possession at one time. If a player, after drawing his/her obligatory tiles has more than ten in his/her possession, that player is disqualified.

    Rule#4. The Judge decides if the played tile corresponds to the preceding tile. That tile then stays and becomes the new base tile.

    Rule#5. No player may punch the judge in the face.

    Rule #6. No player may break the fingers of the judge.

    Rule#7. No player may yank out the hair of the judge.

    Rule#8. If and when somebeing breaks any two of the rules #5/7 the judge has full authority to decide what is to be done with the culprit.

    A group of about a dozen Yaglu, were busily engaged in the beginning preparations for the next game of hoesu. Frederick had by this time completely given up on trying to convince the crew to attend to their duties and so he decided to sit and watch as he had nothing better to do.

    The die roll had come down to the last two contestants and the rest of the crowd stepped back to give them room to spar. The two beings stared at each other as they lowered their respective centers of gravity. The match was definitely in favor of the one known as Tyo as he was quite a bit bulkier than his opponent. The other seemed very unsure and nervous as he readied himself for the coming battle. Some of the more amiable Yaglu started encouraging him on in their deep staccato voices. “Come on Pawn, you can take him.” But even to their own ears, their optimism sounded hollow.

    It finally dawned on Frederick what was going on. He hadn’t even meant to get involved he had just tossed the die aside whenever someone had handed it to him. Apparently he had rolled very low rolls each time. He sputtered wildly and started to say something, when Tyo suddenly took a few back handed swipes at him. The first one glance off Frederick’s chin as he danced away by turns pleading and ordering Tyo to stop and leave him be. A few started to laugh at Frederick’s helplessness. Then they started to jeer and mock him concerning the orders he had been trying to give them earlier. Frederick suddenly drew his sword and held it at arms length between him and Tyo. In an instant the crowd grew silent. The tension grew as Frederick continued to simply stay out of Tyo’s reach. The crowd started to grow restless.

    “You don’t have a chance!” Some being shouted. Then came the words that Frederick dreaded. “Take him Tyo!” With a snarl Tyo launched himself at Frederick. As he came he knocked the already wavering sword aside. Caught by surprise at the speed with which Tyo covered the distance, Frederick only managed to dodge the first blow. The two that followed were enough to bring him down. His sword skittered away beyond his grasp as he held his abdomen where the last punch had landed. In an instant Tyo was standing over him.

    “I give up! I give up!” Frederick frantically crab-walked backwards practically screaming the words.

    Tyo’s only answer was to crouch down and jump high into the air. Frederick’s eyes widened in terror.

    “No” he whispered hoarsely. He scrambled to his feet as fast as he could, but his legs, following the example of everything and everyone else, refused to do as they were commanded. He had just managed to roll over onto his stomach and start to crawl, before he felt pain explode in his left upper back, where a knee had landed with all of Tyo’s momentum and weight behind it. Frederick felt something crack and bit down on his tongue to keep from crying out. He felt Tyo’s weight leave him jarring his left shoulder socket once more. He wanted to curl up and die right then and there. The crowd start to mock him once more. He hid his head in shame.

    What came next changed Frederick's life monumentally and he would remember it for a long time to come. He sensed that Tyo was bending down over him. Then he heard Tyo’s voice.

    “You won’t be needing this anymore I think.” Frederick heard the distinct snap of metal being broken and winced as the broken remnants of his sword rained down on his prone form. Tyo snorted in disgust at Frederick’s pitiful whimpering and straightened up.

    Suddenly a wet blob of mucus impacted with the base of Frederick's neck. He suddenly felt anger rising up out of the pain.

    “I spit on you like the trash you are! No one here will take orders from you anymore.” Then Tyo stood upright with something in his hands.

    Anger like he had never known before grew inside of him. He saw through his tears that Tyo had turned his back on him. Then Tyo started to laugh. Frederick had had enough. The first mate knew that what Tyo said was true. If he gave in to Tyo, none of the crew would ever respect him again. His captain would see the crew not following Frederick’s orders and attribute it to Frederick’s sadly lacking leading capabilities. Frederick would not last long as an officer after that. Using the anger to fuel his resolve, he gathered all his reserves and slowly staggered to his feet.

    “I’m not done yet Tyo” he said in his high pitched voice. Come here and let’s finish this, if you think you can.

    Tyo turned back around from laughing with a few of his buddies. He looked incredulously at Frederick at first, then his features transformed, quickly becoming ugly with rage. He realized that Frederick had spoiled his victory by not staying down. Tyo meant to fix that.

    “You want to die?” he asked ominously. “Fine.”

    Frederick gulped nervously, but cleared his mind and stayed calm as he prepared himself for the oncoming bullet that was Tyo.
    Thankful People: Juggernaut's Dream

    Oh no! poor freddie!

    who's freddie? you must be mistaken...
    Oh, you mean FREDERICK?

    of course that's who i mean!  =D it's the nickame for Frederick! :D

    I don't know... I understand how you could see it that way, but I just don't know...

    Well, i insist on calling him freddie, frederick is just too long to spell out each time =D plus, isn't freddie a cute nickname? It's another one of those words that puts letters together that sound good!

    ok... but I'm not sure that I can, in good conscience, put that into the story.

    =D LOL


    Hey, still waiting for some more stellar story here...

    *will start writing NOW*

    Well, so much for *now*!

    Waiting Anemone

    Well... I did, I just ended up writing more on the joint member story.

    YAY! I'm excited at  this continuation!

    I am not entirely happy with what I have written so far... I think I will have to start over and make it flow better. Hopefully more story content and less boring descriptions. :P As it stands I am not able to continue, but I'll see what I can do.

    Thank you for your real simulated patience. :P

    No worries, D.J.

    However, I do have a tip for you - if this is something you do want to continue, then make your changes to the future scenes and simply continue.  What you have written here is along the lines of a rought draft - it is not perfect, and it will not be seamless in its transitions from what your original thought was to what the end result is. 

    My advice - let it flow badly!  Let it be imperfect.  After you have the story down on paper (screen!), that is when you go back and take the story as a whole.  Then you can edit to your hearts' content.  You can get advice from people for the continuity. 

    Don't fret about those right now!  We're just along for the ride - don't feel pressure to make this first run-through perfect.

    If you can't put a story out for us that's not perfect, then you should write it on your personal computer first, edit it, and then post it for us.  One of the reasons I started this forum, though, was to create an atmosphere of encouragement.  We all want to know what happens next!  It's okay if details in the story have to change later, or if you're not quite happy with the flow.  Characters will change on you from their first conception to who they are at the end of the book, and you'll have to make adjustments.

    At any rate, I just want to encourage you to write.  Nobody's going to be perfect on their first draft - don't worry about how it feels to you.  Stop criticizing your previous posts, and only look at them if you need to review on content.  :-)


    Yeah, I know. I just need to practice a bit first I think and figure out how to make a more complete scene without having to write out so many details. I've got some ideas, but I'm not ready to continue here. Maybe I'll be back after a bit.

    Thanks though! The encouragement is appreciated.


    I am expecting something here soon now ;)

    Working on it! Really I am!
    OK, here goes. *takes a deep breath* From this point forward I will not go back past this point to edit or re-write what I have written...even. if. I. don't like it.

    That was hard to say.
    • CommentTimeAug 18th 2010
    *claps* Bravo, bravo!



    Now, back to the grindstone for you!! (and me.)